Friday, November 23, 2012

President Wonder Woman

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090620220213/wonderwoman/images/4/40/WW7.jpg I've told you about the times Superman, Captain America and Batman were President, but how about the time Wonder Woman was President? And she did it in 1943 in her 7th issue,  long before the others. The flip side of it is that it's a vision of the future, the year 3000, when women rule the world after the creation of  the "Life Vitamin" that grants eternal youth. I'm not sure what to take from that. Did the writer and Wonder Woman creator, William Moulton Marston, think that there could never be equality, only one sex dominating the other? Did he also think that women wouldn't achieve any such gains for a thousand years? Given that the issue also features an electronic dictation machine that makes your hands auto-type on a typewriter, numerous ridiculous outfits and prisoners find copious amounts of rope and chain in an abandoned dungeon in the prison, I'd say this issue is full of the typical craziness that was in comics at the time, and I haven't even gotten to some of the crazier stuff.
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So to start off, Wonder Woman's mother Hippolyte summons Diana back to Paradise Island for a visit, and when Diana comes in her secretary outfit to surprise her, Hippolyte decides to show her what the outfit will look like in the future, as predicted by her Magic Sphere device. When Diana wonders about all her friends in the future, Hippolyte starts showing her when she and her friend Etta Candy discover the Life Vitamin that grants eternal youth after mixing water from the Amazonian fountain of youth with candy, allowing all of humanity to live for thousands of years. Hippoylte then shows Diana the year 3000, where women have taken control of the world after a woman was elected President of the United States and the worst of the men put in prisons. Diana's boyfriend Steve Trevor is now a Colonel and military aide to the president while Diana is secretary to the commissioner of the United States police. (Don't ask me why Diana is still a secretary after a thousand years, because the book doesn't say.) At any rate, it's revealed that the "Man's World Party" is planning a revolt, with the first order of business being breaking their leader out of prison, which is apparently really easy when the warden is overly concerned with forcing people into submission. (Seriously, it's bizarre how easily the prisoners take over the prison, especially when they find an abandoned dungeon for chains and ropes in the prison. I know Marston had an S&M fetish, but this is just ridiculous, as you can see in the page at right.) Wonder Woman eventually takes out the villains by tricking them into drinking the Anti-Life Vitamin, which quickly turns them to dust since they're over a thousand years old.
Back in the present Diana is glad a woman will be president in 3000, but her mother warns her that a man might be elected again, even if Wonder Woman ran, which she'd like to see, so they move the dial forward to 3004. Turns out the new leader of the Man's Party is Professor Manly (see what they did there?) and he wants Steve Trevor to run for President under the Man's Party banner. Despite being warned by Diana and the US Police Commissioner that Manly's just going to use Trevor, Trevor believes to highly in Manly to see the obvious comic book plot. Things get worse when it's revealed someone is breaking the law and manufacturing guns and the police woman investigating is shot and killed. Signs point to Manly being the culprit, but the issue is quickly dropped (seriously, they stop talking about this even though they have the murder weapon and an eye-witness, and the commissioner who's been looking for reason to lock Manly away just disappears while people are campaigning) when Trevor and Manly tell the President they'll be running for President and Vice-President. Miss President declares she won't run against Trevor (for no reason what so ever) so Diana gets herself and Etta nominated for the Woman's Party. (For some reason Diana chooses to continue wearing her dictation gloves even in an evening gown.) When it looks like the women will win, Manly has his supporters take over vote counting rooms at gunpoint and rig the election. When Manly tries to have Trevor order the ballots destroyed, Trevor refuses so Manly has him kidnapped. Manly quickly frames Diana and has her arrested. Diana decides it's time for Wonder Woman and escapes. Trevor awakes to find himself among all the kidnapped election officials (you'd thing that would've been reported on pretty quick) and learns the truth of the election results. Trevor is brought before Manly, who still wants Steve to have the ballots destroyed instead of him even though he's now Acting-President, but Trevor refuses, so Manly puts Trevor in a giant glass bottle and lowers that into a glass container of liquid air. (I think this officially makes Manly a supervillain, just for the insanity of the idea.) Wonder Woman soon arrives and saves Trevor by breaking the glass container, freezing herself and all the villains in the room. The lot are eventually thawed thanks to Etta, Manly and his gang are locked away, and Diana and Etta are sworn in. Present day Diana laments what happened to Trevor and wishes he had won, but her mother comforts her with the words "All men are much happier when their strong aggressive natures are controlled by a wise and loving woman!" and the story ends.
That's only half the comic. The other half has a brief story about Joan of Arc (which isn't bad if over simplified), a story of a 3700 President Diana going on a diplomatic mission to Primal Island, which turns out to be kidnapping and enslaving girls, so she takes over the island with an army of women equipped with rings that squirt muscle relaxant on to people when you punch them, and finally a story about Wonder Woman teaching a little girl the importance of kindness by fighting a giant octopus. If you think I'm making these up, you can read the issue, along with the rest of the first 8 Wonder Woman Comics, here at Old Comics World.

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